Reopened Mind

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Posts by Reopened Mind

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  94

  just what am I supposed to believe now??

  by purrpurr in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  while i'm glad i found this site, it has also crumbled to bits everything i've believed in my whole life.

  i feel like the certainty, magic and wonder has gone out of my life.

  this has left a huge hole in my soul.

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  Reopened Mind

  Hello purrpurr,

  I can sympathize with the journey you are on now. My husband was a born-in who, like you, had known no other belief system his whole life of 55 years when we left. I had converted in my teens. When we woke up I went back to what I had believed before for the most part. We were not in a rush to lock into another set of beliefs. We talked a lot, read a lot, explored the internet. We went to the little country church I had attended as a child and another Christian church with some friends. Neither one of us felt comfortable there but desparately wanted a sense of community. We looked up a Unitarian Universalist congregation and began going there. We immediately felt at home because there is no dogma or doctrine, just the acceptance of everyone for who they are. People of many different beliefs make up our small congregation and we find it a wonderful way to explore without the pressure of conversion.

  I can tell you now it is a relief to not HAVE to believe what is spoon fed from a hierarchy. But it can be a little scary too. As Witnesses we had answers for everything. Now it is OK to say, "I don't know." Everyone here is giving you permission to explore; now give yourself permission.

  Reopened Mind
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  30

  Today is my birthday !

  by mrquik in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  after missing 63 years of birthday celebrations, i'm making up for it in spades.

  cake, presents & parties.

  i tell everyone i meet that today is my birthday just to hear them say "happy birthday".

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  Reopened Mind

  HAPPY BIRTHDAY mrquik!! And many more.

  Reopened Mind
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  46

  If you had the audience of the GB, what is your #1 question you would ask them?

  by Darth Fader The Sequel in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  there are a million of them and mine is by no means the most important question to ask them if i only had one shot at it.

  but, i have always wondered what kind of bs excuse they would give as an answer to this question: "brother goober bum, given that there are both male and female partakers here on earth who claim to be of the 'anointed' and plan on being of the 144,000 ruling with christ in heaven for eternity........ why are the female 'anointed' treated as submissive, second class citizens and why is their opinion on doctrinal matters, matters of teaching and reproving, anything at all.... why are they not recognized while here on earth even though you claim that jesus has selected them to become angels to rule with him?

  ".

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  Reopened Mind

  Explain exactly how you get all the "new light" from God.

  Ray Franz explained it in his book "Crisis of Conscience": Someone makes it up and they vote on it at their weekly GB meeting.

  Still it would be interesting to hear how they squirm around that one.

  Reopened Mind
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  20

  What was your out of control, sobbing moment with this stupid religion?

  by ctrwtf in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i have often laughed at public outpourings of emotion.

  just google mike schmidt"s retirement speech in which he loses it and blithers on about his career.

  completely douche chilling.. but to be honest, i had a moment recently when i literally balled my eyes out.

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  Reopened Mind

  We took care of a brother with MS in our home for almost 15 years, the last year and a half he was bedridden and on a ventilator. We made sure he was always at the meetings; we even took him out in service in a wheelchair van so he could get his time in. Because of the MS his speech weakened and he became increasingly difficult to understand. I became an interpretor of sorts for him. One of his greatest joys in life was being with the brothers and especially the sisters and children at the hall. When he was no longer able to physically attend the meetings he would faithfully listen in on a phone hook-up. But no one from the hall would come to visit him and he missed this most of all. When he passed away (4 years ago yesterday, I'm starting to cry, this is difficult for me) no one from the hall came to give us moral support. You see there was a district convention the following weekend and everyone was too busy preparing for that even though it was an easy drive and most didn't stay over. On the other hand my nonJW cousin who lived in the same town was at our house almost every day, bringing food as we needed it. I am so grateful for her and her husband's support during that time.

  About 3 years later our oldest son sent us a scathing letter to tell us what horrible parents we were and to affirm that the religion had nothing to do with the injustices he experienced growing up. (Yes, my son, it had almost everything to do with it. We followed WT guidelines the best we could.) He said that unless we both got psychiatric help he wanted nothing to do with us! That seemed a bit ironic to us because his dad did see a Witness therapist. When he began taking medication for his ADD his mind began to clear and that is when we started our exit from the cult. Funny thing is we had thought our oldest son was waking up with us.

  Reopened Mind
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  25

  a sense of responsibility

  by Ruby456 in

  1. social
  2. family

  do parents here feel a strong sense of responsiblity for raising their children as witnessess?

  an xwitness friend was saying she and her husband feel very bad for having brought up their children as witnesses and they feel they want to make amends but are unable to do so.

  what advice would you give them.

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  Reopened Mind

  Ruby,

  Your thread has really hit a nerve with me. My husband and I are xJWs who raised our 2 boys in the cult. Our boys both married in the cult and are raising their children as JWs. We didn't wake up until after our children had grown and married. We told both our boys what we were learning when we were waking up. For a while we thought they were listening and we had the hope they would follow us. But the cult (and we suspect wives & in-laws) had too strong of a pull on them. Since our oldest wrote us a scathing letter about how horrible we were as parents we have had no contact with him or his family. Sad, he has 2 lovely children we would like to be a part of their lives. We do have some contact with our youngest son but only to discuss "family business". He, too, has 2 lovely children whom I see only on facebook.

  To answer your original question; yes, we do feel a great sense of responsibility for raising our boys as witnesses. One thing we keep telling ourselves is that we did the best we knew how at the time. We will bide our time and always be positive whenever we do have that rare contact with them.

  Reopened Mind
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  27

  New Job

  by LouBelle in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i was fortunate to be recommended for a sales position by a former colleague.

  the company phoned me and we set up an interview.

  i accepted their offer - it is nearly double what i earn at the moment.

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  Reopened Mind

  LouBelle,

  Your perserverance has paid off. So happy for you.

  Reopened Mind
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  63

  First Post...Hi everyone! Thanks for all of your help over the years!

  by stuckinarut2 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  well... as they say on talk back radio "i'm a long time listener, first time caller"(poster in this case!).

  i have been a "lurker" for several years, but never had the courage to take the step and join up...until now.. i really want to thank everyone for their insights and comments throughout the forum.

  although i have not contibuted to discussions, i have benefitted very much from all of your comments and observations on all topics.

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  Reopened Mind

  Hi stuckinarut2,

  Of course we're interested in your story. Post away. Looking forward to hearing more. As others have said, be cautious. If you would be more comfortable you could post in the members only section.

  We all know how much courage it takes to come on this public forum, especially if there are still concerns about family.

  You have taken the first step toward living an authentic life. Not saying it will be easy but it will be rewarding in so many ways.

  Reopened Mind
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  23

  40 Years Today

  by Still Totally ADD in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  yes that's right reopened mind and me have been married 40 years ago today.

  we had a little party today at our uu congregation.

  we brought wine for the pot luck dinner we had today.

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  Reopened Mind

  Thank you all for your kind wishes.

  Still Totally ADD and I were married 40 years ago in a kingdom hall in Florida. Before they would let us use the hall we had to be questioned as to whether we had done anything to bring reproach on Jehovah, ie, did we have any form of sex? And was everyone in our wedding party in good standing in the congregation? I walked down the aisle in a pink satin wedding dress. My husband told me later, much later, that the rumor mill was working overtime speculating whether or not I was a virgin!!!

  I am so much happier in our UU congregation; no condescention, no judgment, just genuine happiness for us.

  To my husband: We've had good times and we've had rough times and we've been made stronger and closer for it. I couldn't have chosen a better life partner. My love and respect and admiration for you has grown so much over the years and especially since we left the cult together. Love you very much.

  Reopened Mind
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  55

  One of the big reasons I left the JW Cult

  by Still Totally ADD in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  he would love to see you.

  i would tell them please come out anyway he would just love to see you.

  i saw the lack of love and could not believe it.

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  Reopened Mind

  And this is one of the big reasons I left with my husband, Still Totally ADD.

  Reopened Mind
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  64

  I'm not trying to brag, but being an EXJW is awesome!!! Status Update-

  by Coffee House Girl in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hello jwn!

  i don't get to check in here or comment as often as i would like because i have been working so hard at school...but i just have to share my news in hopes that newbees can see that taking the leap to enroll in higher education is worth it-.

  i am graduating this spring with a bachelor degree in art history, minor anthropology...many people (including nonjw's have given me flack for choosing a "dead end" career path) but since leaving the watchtower organization's group-think mentality and "leaning on my own understanding" instead... i decided to say fuck everyone else's opinion...i am going to pursue my passion to work in a museum as a curator or archivist-.

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  Reopened Mind

  I'm so happy for you Coffee House Girl!!! Living your dream is awesome.

  All my best to you and Coffee House Guy.

  Reopened Mind